


lonerism.

by saveethebees



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Epic SMP - Fandom, JschlattLIVE, Lunch Club, jschlatt - Fandom, schlatt - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29629002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saveethebees/pseuds/saveethebees
Summary: ❝ wanna get out of here? ❞he never liked going to these parties, they were always the same repetitive cycle of disorder and chaos. that was, until he saw her.
Relationships: female oc - Relationship, female oc x male





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer :)) 
> 
> hey, i just wanted to come in and say that this story technically counts as a lunch club au. 
> 
> i've created / enhanced personality traits and fake scenarios for these content creators that are not necessarily accurate to their real character and could be seen as negative on their part.
> 
> this is NOT intended to offend any of these creators, it is purely for creative purposes :)

nights like these were always so peaceful. i had come to notice that this area was one of the rare locations in LA where it was always quiet once the sun went down. no cars, no people, no noise. everything was ... still.

walking up the empty street, the only sound i could hear was my own shoes scraping against the road, kicking rocks far distances and wearing down my already thin soles. as i approached the house at the top of the hill, the sound of muffled music playing from inside was escaping, cutting through the silence of the night as i got closer, drowning out any sense of calm i had felt previously.

hands held tight in my jeans, i stood in front of it for a while, hesitating the final steps that would lead me to the party within.

shaking my head, i told myself that this was something i needed to do, despite my mental protests. i had already avoided too many of my friend's parties in the past, making up weak excuses or avoiding the subject altogether in the hopes that they would eventually get the message. even though noah, cooper and travis hosted these on a weekly basis these days, the last one i regretfully attended was about a month ago, which ending with me sitting alone in the living room for hours, not receiving so much as a glance from my 'friends' as they preoccupied themselves with alcohol, drugs and others. i left early as soon as a stranger passed out next to me, throwing up at my feet. the music made my ears ring for days and the smell seemed to stay no matter how many times i washed.

i sighed, already bracing myself for an inevitable repeat of my past experiences as i walked towards the front door. they always kept it unlocked on nights like these, allowing any passers-by to join in on the 'fun' if they were brave enough. this had lead to strangers causing havoc in the past, adding to the unpleasant atmosphere of these events.

the open doors also let cops walk in with ease, which they had done on multiple occasions. it usually left the 4 with considerable fines that i doubt they bother to pay off despite my complaints. many arguments have been made about how out of hand these parties can be, but of course, they don't listen. they never do.

with this in mind, i opened the door with ease. new week, same old mistakes.

as soon as i stepped inside the house, a wave of music filled my ears, removing any sense of serenity i had experienced on the other side and replacing it with an overwhelming feeling in my stomach. one step at a time, i entered further, multi-colours lights pulsed in irregular patters around the seemingly never-ending silhouettes of dancing bodies.

my eyes strained as i put my hand over them in the hopes they would adjust, trying to push through the wall of bodies and desperately searching the room for someone i knew. i was in the middle of it now, strangers jumping and pushing on either side of me as i struggled to move against them.

looking around i could see glimpses of the house around me, such as the bright lights coming from the kitchen. i decided to make my way towards them, and soon recognised a tall figure standing there. ted somehow spotted me in the crowd, waving me down and yelled over the music.

"schlatt! over here."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> umm i realised that madi and ted aren't together anymore :(( we're just going to skip over that fact for now i wrote this chapter before they broke up lmao

even though i was still stuck between bodies and could barely see two steps in front of me, his voice had carried and i pushed towards his direction, hoping to make it to the kitchen in one piece. the air around me already felt heavy as the sweat and heat from the people around me was accumulating and started to press against my skin, making me even more desperate to escape.

with some force, i managed to push through, exiting in front of the kitchen where the benches were already covered with empty red cups and bottles. my feet kicked mixtures of glass and plastic below me as discarded drinks were left on the floor to be spilt and pushed aside.

white lights shone brightly from above, a sudden change from the darkness of the night and the dancefloor, leaving my eyes stinging slightly as i crossed to where ted stood, with who i soon realised as his girlfriend, madi. she was leaning into him as she drank from the cup in her hand, draining it quickly as i greeted her with a slight nod. when i got a lazy glance in reply, i turned to ted.

"hey man, it's good to see you," i said, leaning close to him so i could be heard over the music blasting behind us.

whether he could actually hear me or not, i couldn't tell as his face stayed expressionless, leaning into me this time as he replied, "i didn't think you would come tonight, i haven't seen you around here for weeks."

in his closeness, my stomach turned and i tried not to wince as he breath already smelt strongly of alcohol, the stench quickly filling my nose and delaying the true impact of his words. his tone was harsh and judgemental, his gaze leaving me to feel more pathetic by the second as i tried not to overthink them.

"i've just uhhh... been really busy recently," i started, suddenly feeling very vulnerable and small as ted seemed to tower over me, "just had a lot of shit to do."

ted just rolled his eyes, a smirk growing on his face and a slight laugh escaping his lips, "that's always the case, isn't it schlatt. you can just say you don't want to be here you know." he paused to take a sip of his cup before continuing, "not like it would make any difference."

in that moment wanted nothing more than to run away, leave this party and never have it cross my thoughts again. but i guessed that that would only prove ted right.

instead, i stood there, watching as he emptied his cup and gave me a quick glance before turning to madi and started to kiss her passionately, completely disregarding my existence. i simply turned to the mass of people that had seemed to grow only larger behind me, entering once again in an attempt to hide and disappear in the ever-changing crowd.

i tried to assure myself that these were only the words of a drunken man that meant nothing. although he wasn't just a man, he was a friend.

i wasn't a stranger to insults and banter at these pastries, many nights often ending with some sort of verbal abuse for getting in their way or just trying to take care of them. everyone always ended up apologising later on, although the things they say often stay with me for weeks, lurking in my thoughts like a parasite i can't get rid of.

perhaps drunken words really were just sober thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

moving through the crowd again i tried to make my way towards the living room, pushing forcefully against oblivious individuals as they danced around me. one thing i had learnt from these things was that the lounge room was the best option if you wanted to get away from the madness. it sat on the edge of it all and was often left empty for any hopeless drunk who needed a place to lay before waking up and starting their cycle of disorder all over again.

my eyes had adjusted after the kitchen, so i started my search between the mess of bodies until i caught sight of the lounge. i was practically shoving my way through everybody, finding myself more desperate to make it though as my destination became closer with each slow step.

just when i was close enough to truly break free, i felt a hand firmly grasp my shoulder, turning me around in a way that made me almost lose my footing on the wet floor. i looked up and was startled to find myself face to face with noah.

i quickly observed his state: sweat gleaming on his brow, unbalanced stance and a grip on his drink that told me it was the most important thing to him in that moment. he was incredibly drunk and i was about to hear the full blast of his slurred lecture.

"dude, where the fuck have you been?"

his angry tone struck me as hard as a punch to the face, my mind was already buzzing as i tried to think.

"i uhh.." words died in my throat, unable to make it out of my mouth, "i've just been busy."

i had a feeling i would be saying that a lot tonight.

noah scoffed, "yeah, i'm sure you were big guy."

before i could respond and help my case, he moved into the crowd and disappeared as fast as he had emerged, leaving me with the same stinging guilt that i thought i had left in the kitchen with ted.

lights continued to flash around me and the music suddenly felt incredibly loud, making my head spin as tried to breathe and push through the maze of dancers that shoved me in every direction.

when i made it to the lounge room, i was rewarded with a slight coolness in the air. it was refreshing after being trapped in a room felt like a sauna. running my hands through my hair i tried to ignore the sweat that had accumulated there and walked to the lounge where i, to my surprise, was greeted with travis.

he was already fast asleep, face down with a hand limp next to a large pack of drinks that inevitably waited for him when he awoke.

i took one from the pack and opened it with a crack as i sat down next to him, drinking it quickly to give myself something to do before i could overthink my situation more than i already have. there was no way i could last these parties sober, i knew that much.

pulsating lights made my head strain so i just stared at the drink in my hand when travis made rolled over and mumbled something unintelligible before falling back asleep.

noah and travis weren't always like this. this fascination for getting drunk and parties became the centre of their own little worlds as everything else suddenly became of second importance, myself included.

they were totally different people than the ones i had met three years ago.

all of them were.


	4. Chapter 4

after a few more beers and a handful of awkward interactions with people i pretended to remember, the nightlife had started to pick up. i didn't think it was possible but the crowd seemed to grow, pushing slowly into the lounge room and bringing with it more loud noises and dizzying sensations that tainted my small moments of peace. even though it was momentary, it was a blessing.

eventually, the room was full, the wall of dancers ending only a few meters in front of me and a collection of sleeping drunks had started to form around me and travis. the stench of alcohol, weed and even vomit was almost overwhelming, the smells, accompanied by the numbingly loud music, making me feel light-headed and dizzy. i decided to put my unfinished drink on the floor, making a mental note to stop for a while.

once i looked up again, my vision began to slightly blur. after sitting down for almost an hour, my fast movements hadn't caught up to me yet and everything around me seemed to spin, colours and motions blending together.

"shit."

my head started to tense and my heart was beating loud in my ears. or many that was the music, i couldn't tell.

i tried to focus, locking my eyes on a group of people who were dancing close to me in an attempt to prevent some sort of sensory overload. it seemed inevitable, but it was worth a try. their movements were hypnotic, every gesture and action a swirl of colour that i couldn't seem to look away from.

that was when i saw her.

it seemed like the whole world had slowed down, music becoming muffled in my ears as i became transfixed on a girl. she danced around in beams of light to a now distant melody. she looked to be floating, so graceful and mesmerizing that i didn't even know if what i was seeing was real. she was shining out in a room that was quickly darkening and obscuring by the second.

i felt like i was in a trance, hallucinating and unable to break my gaze in the fear that she would disappear forever once i did. an overwhelming sensation swept over me as i realised that she was looking right at me, our eyes locking for a split second before-

"schlatt?"

i almost jumped out of my skin when i felt a hand grip my sleeve. looking down i saw that travis was finally awake, rubbing his eyes and slightly yawning as he said, "you showed up?"

i just stared, trying to understand what was happening, what was real. quickly turning back to where the girl once stood, i was greeted with strangers.

she was gone.

travis tugged at my sleeve again, whining my name to get my attention. music forcefully filled my ears and my senses were sharp, sending me into a spiral as i tried to regain my bearings.

"hey umm, yeah i came." i half-answered, looking around the room in pathetic desperation.

when did it get so loud in here?

travis barely mumbled a response; "it was about time," before laying down again, half awake. this kid was a mess.

i tried to recall what had happened, looking back towards the spot on the dancefloor where i was staring only a few minutes prior. "oh god, i was staring? what a creep." i thought to myself, a wave of both shame and embarrassment washing over me as i hoped i was dreaming.

my mind was in overdrive, a million thoughts rushing through while one stood out above all others: 

"who was she?"


	5. Chapter 5

in my confused state i tried to breathe, gripping the couch i was sitting on with force. it helped, and i reassured myself that the loud heartbeat acting like a drum in my head was slowly declining. i eventually felt like myself again.

brushing hands though sweat-filled hair, i turned to travis in the hopes of a distraction. he looked at me with droopy eyes, half smiling and completely delusional.

"hey man!" he said in a surprisingly happy tone, "do u wanna get me another drink?"

oh, that's why.

he held up an empty bottle and waved it close to my face, "pleaseee, i'm all out."

i knew that i shouldn't listen to him, but from personal experience, it was an unspoken rule to never go against their requests. i could still remember the black eye joko gave me after a heated argument one night ...

i gently pushed his hand aside and replied, "okay okay, just stay here alright?"

after sitting down for what felt like hours, my head spun from my quick movements and my legs were shaky. it took a few steps to get used them but i set my sights on the dining room, the table that once served meals now a resting place for a never-ending collection of alcohol.

i was swallowed by flashing lights, loud sounds and crashing bodies, all combining into the sea of disorientation that i had seen so many times before. at least i had an objective; to make it to the other side.

i made it my sole focus, looking down and walking straight ahead to both get there quickly and to avoid being seen by anyone i knew. any interactions i had had weren't pretty, and i intended to keep them to a minimum from now on.

to my surprise, i made it to the table fairly easy. moving to the opposite side i grabbed a stack of red cups and took one off the top for travis, carefully looking at the bottles in front of me.

i picked up a few that looked familiar but trying to read the labels with the coloured lights above me made it impossible to tell for sure. i just decided to open the one i had in my hands, pouring it carefully when i realised who was standing next to me.

charlie gave me a small smile as he reached for a cup himself.

seeing him felt like a weight had been lifted. charlie was like my safety blanket out here, the one who i trusted the most. even though he got just as drunk as the others, for a short period in between he kept somewhat of a level head and was usually on my side.

"hey charlie, how you been?" i asked, eager to have a normal conversation for once.

he replied bluntly, "fine."

just like that, my small slice of hope had vanished, and in its place the weight of anxiety seeped back in, catching me off guard and making my chest ache. i silently watched as he poured his own drink.

charlie cleared his throat after he had finished, turning to face me. "i can't believe you actually showed up."

oh no, not him too.

"yeah i uhh... haven't had a lot of time on my hands" i struggled to reply.

he tilted his head slightly, his eyes feeling like daggers piercing my skin, "i mean, what's the point of even showing up anymore, right? not like you want to be here anyway."

everything came crashing down, the subtle harshness punching me in the face as i made the realisation.

i was truly alone.


	6. Chapter 6

i simply stood there for a while, my brain feeling both numb and completely alive, uncomfortable thoughts overlapping into nothingness. the only thing i could think to do was walk away, leaving charlie without another word as i staggered aimlessly into the crowd.

he was probably rolling his eyes, maybe laughing and teasing behind my back but it didn't matter.

i didn't care anymore.

still gripping the drink i had poured for travis, i navigated through the mass of people surrounding me, the sweat and heat that was accumulating around them making me feel ill and overwhelmed. a pit in my stomach had started to grow, making it difficult to breathe and concentrate, my thoughts running at a million miles a second.

every party i attended left me feeling worse and worse, a hatred looming over myself for knowing i would always come back. they were the same old mistakes that ended with me feeling this sense of guilt and disconnect that had become more and more common as the weeks passed.

the dizzying stench of weed and alcohol made my head spin as i suddenly wanted nothing more than to disappear, to become as insignificant as i felt i was.

i kept my head down, making my way towards the staircase next to the kitchen as i avoided the people and drinks alike that were scattered around them. after giving my drink to a stranger nearby, i started to walk up, ignoring looks from a few who noticed me leave, an odd sight on their part.

desperately scanning the hallways upstairs, i struggled to find somewhere to go, not wanting to risk walking in on people behind the closed doors and make a fool out of myself. it wasn't long before i spotted glass doors that opened onto a balcony, desperately reaching for the handle as the hallway seemed to stretch, making them seem further than they actually were.

i practically burst through, leaning back and slamming the door shut as i tried to block out the party behind me, distancing myself from it as much as possible. rubbing my face i walked over to the balcony edge, resting my elbows on the railing and looked down at the few partygoers beneath. i let the cool air fall onto my skin and tried to focus on the foreign silence that wrapped around me, closing my eyes for a few moments as i collected myself.

i hadn't noticed how loud my breaths had become, how deafening my heartbeat was in my ears.

the serenity didn't last long, slight vibrations from the music below brought me back to reality, the intense smell of a firepit ruining the moment. my ears were ringing, hands still shaking. to counteract, i began to rub my neck, trying to soothe my tense muscles and give them something to do.

the weight of the night seemed to tip over the edge, leaving me the mess that i was. i cursed myself for my weakness, why would i let this stuff get to me so easily? why do i even care, nothing has changed?

i shook my head, resting it in my hands as the reality of my situation sat forcefully on my shoulders. no one cares about me anymore. i was a burden. i have no one. these thoughts seemed to haunt me, teasing as if they knew i couldn't escape them...

before i could overthink further, a soft voice had appeared beside me.

"are you alright?"

the sudden break in silence caught me off guard and i jumped in my tense state, turning rapidly towards its owner. i was met with bright eyes, ones i knew i could recognise in an instant.

it was her.


	7. Chapter 7

her presence was enough to make my body freeze, my already tense state deteriorating as i took note of her closeness, her gaze meeting mine. my mind was screaming, trying to come up with a response as she looked at me with concerned eyes, the silence between us growing louder as words simply died in my mouth before they could leave.

"i- i umm.... i've been better." my sudden confession took me by surprise, the truth slipping out before i could stop myself. i figured i didn't have much to lose, "don't like parties all that much i guess..."

i let out a small laugh and she did the same, "i'm not a fan either, i usually come up here to get away from it for a while. i guess this time someone else had the same idea."

i forced a smile as the subtle reminder of where i was enough to make my heart beat rapidly in my chest, gaining volume in my ears as i rested my head in my hands once more, a weak attempt to block the outside world from view.

why was this happening?

the phrase repeated itself as i tried to shake the uncomfortable feeling of panic. it was foreign and overwhelming, especially now that it had been sitting in my stomach for the past 10 minutes...

i suddenly remembered that i wasn't alone, feeling guilty for my secluded behaviour and turned to the woman standing next to me. "i'm really sorry, you really caught me at a bad time." i let out a shaky laugh in an attempt to ease the weight on my chest. it didn't seem to work.

"no, don't be sorry at all," she assured, her voice soft. "i know the feeling, i've had plenty of nights like these before."

Before i could question this, she continued, "why don't we sit down somewhere. just talk, like some sort of ... distraction."

her calm tone and demeanour were enough to let a blanket of relief and composure settle over me, my grip on the rail loosening, shoulders falling slowly. it was a feeling that i was craving, a feeling i so desperately needed and i let myself think that she could give it to me, even if it was only for a short moment.

i started to reply, "that sounds..." hesitation lingered for a split second, almost enough to make me overthink completely. i quickly pushed the thoughts away. "...great actually."

I received a sympathetic smile in response as she reached out for my arm and guided me towards the wooden stairs to our right, which lead to the yard below. we sat down next to each other on one of the steps, facing a small group of partygoers that had gathered near the firepit across the lawn, sharing drinks and vague gestures amongst themselves.

my hands had been shaking for quite some time now, so i held them together before she could notice. what i failed to account for, however, was the fact that my foot had instantly begun to tap rapidly on the stair below it, my leg moving up and down. we seemed to realise at the same time, as she placed a hand on top of my thigh until i stopped.

the gesture was sudden and her closeness was comforting as i understood the message it held:

don't let this control you.

after a moment silence, she asked, "so... what's your name?" she smiled at the simplicity of the question and i let out an exhausted laugh, turning to face her.

"schlatt."


	8. Chapter 8

after about 3 hours of conversation, we had both shared stories and experiences that we would never think to tell anyone else. we confessed, explained and dove deep into elements of each other's lives without a dull moment, becoming captivated in our own worlds as we sat stretched out on the stairs, facing each other in comfortable positions as the drinks in our hands slowly drained.

the topics of discussion flowed and changed as the night went on, from friends, family, passions, even memories that we held close to us. i shared endless accounts of the stupid shit me and my friends had done in the past and she would do the same, even sharing embarrassing moments and inner thoughts.

sometimes we laughed, sometimes we cried. sometimes we didn't need to say anything at all.

i felt great, well ... better. better is a good word to use. the night air cooled my skin to the point where i felt like a new person, refreshed as the stress and strain that once wrapped around me released it's grip. i felt my body relax as she let me talk and i let her listen, distracting us both from the reality around us.

i found myself fixated on her multiple times, the way she would get lost in a childhood memory or when she would simply look at me with intent and genuine interest. i couldn't remember the last time someone looked at me like that...

i had learnt so much about her and i couldn't help but sit in awe. she was so beautiful, so passionate and kind that i knew i could listen to her speak for eternity.

i never wanted us to stop.

i had just told her about the time i had to run from the police one night after joko had flashed his ass to a group of them, and we sat in amusement for a while.

"i'm pretty sure we ran halfway across the city that night, travis couldn't stop laughing," i explained between chuckles and exaggerated movements. she had been laughing throughout, wiping her eyes to prevent the tears that had started to form and i made fun of it.

"you're actually crying?! nice to know your sense of humour is as broken as theirs." i scoffed.

"shut up!" she exclaimed, pushing me slightly, "you're so mean, that shit is funny you have to admit." i laughed lightly as she composed herself.

it felt nice to hear her laugh at my words.

after a moment of small giggles and deep breaths, she continued, "your friends seem like a lot of fun to be around."

i smiled, "yeah they are- well.... they used to be" i had become so lost in past memories that i forgot how things really were now. how that's all they would be. memories.

"everythings changed" i confessed, "they used to care, used to think about their actions or their words." i thought back to all the nights i watched them abuse their systems with unknown substances, how they never look at or talk to me the way they used too.

the thoughts consumed me for a short moment.

she smiled softly, "i mean, people change. we can't do anything about it and it hurts." i saw sympathy in her eyes as she continued, "but we need to realise that it might hurt us more to stay than it would to leave them behind."

i simply nodded as her words fell over me, a sour realization forming in my throat.

we sat in silence after that, staring out at the dark sky. a sense of stillness swept over as all noise from inside the house seemed distant, irrelevant as we were sitting in our own small existence.

everything was calm.


End file.
